The Church of Despacito

    The commandments of despacito

  1. Thou shalt listen to despacito at least 5 times a day.
  2. Thou shalt reject Max at least once a year.
  3. Thou shalt get rejected by Zeeners at least once a year.
  4. Thou shalt pray to the gods of Despacito every forenoon.
  5. Thou shalt eat 1 bar of chocolate a day.
  6. Thou shalt leave raw spaghetti on Jenny the Jeep on april 17th.
  7. Thou shalt be a communist.
  8. Sex
  9. No other Gods before Jesus.
  10. No premarital marriage.
  11. Thou shalt’nt commit aliven’t.
  12. Thou shalt ticket Ms.Higgs with Q-cards.
  13. Thou shalt only use vocabulary such as “based”, “poggers”, “birb”, “bababooey”, “birbabooey”, “cup holder”, “spork”, “society”.
  14. Thou shalt only feel emotions such as: “oof”, “big sad”, “bad”.
  15. Thou shalt live in a society of sporks.
  16. Thou shalt T pose to thicc gorls.
  17. Thou shalt listen to Lana Del Rey while Eating Chocolate and Crying in Max’s Car.
  18. Thicc lana del rey
  19. Be thiccc
  20. Go fast, eat ass, and don't skip class
  21. Thou shalt pray in a Jojo Siwa bow.
  22. Thou shalt believe in Jojo Siwa when you don’t believe in yourself.
  23. Don’t drive and sext